DEAR ABBY: I have a good Christian friend in her 70s who has basically done nothing with her life. Her husband supports her. For 35 years, my friend has been saying, “God will show me what I should do.” How can I tell her that God helps those who help themSELVES?

She suffers from bouts of severe depression but will not even choose a hobby because she’s waiting on God. Of course, I can’t help her to help herself, so I feel at a loss. And it’s difficult for me to watch her wait for answers that never come. What advice would you offer? — FRUSTRATED FRIEND IN GEORGIA

DEAR FRIEND: You stated that this woman is a good friend. If you have offered her suggestions about how to utilize her time and they have been ignored, you may find less frustration if you quit doing that. You cannot “fix” her indecision.

However, when she starts cycling down into another depression, you should urge her to discuss it with her doctor. If she says she’s waiting for God to tell her to do that, because God isn’t telling her anything directly, explain that God sometimes speaks to us through the people who love us, of which you are one. Hope it will stir her to action, because there is help for those who suffer from depressive illness.

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Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.